so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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