It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
