Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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