just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
