What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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