Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You can't motorboat a personality
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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