so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I enjoy the company of your penis
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