So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
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My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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