Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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