Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
