Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize