It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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