Who did Billy Mays play for?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
