wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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