if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
