I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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