david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
