We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
