We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Randomize
