STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
