You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
