Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
