I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
