id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
