I'm gonna have a badass scar
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
