dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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