i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
