forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
