Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
