Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
