Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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