This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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