I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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