i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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