Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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