its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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