We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
