He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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