I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
