i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize