You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
