Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
