I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize