I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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