I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
