What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
