I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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