His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
