If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
