At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
