someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
