i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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