We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
