Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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