Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
