mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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