Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
