Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
