so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
